Why do you need to unbalance your life you say, sounds like a funny concept but makes so much sense!!
The simple truth is we all get on with our lives we all get older and life does take over, it’s easy to find ourselves overwhelmed by our responsibilities kids, family, friends, careers and the list is thriving…. so we naturally try and get a handle on juggling and balancing it all out.
Does this sound like something you may do everyday?
That’s where unbalancing things to get the balance right can work for you It shouldn’t be about balancing everything on your plate, this is what leads some even the strongest of us to burnout creating anxiety and unhappiness. What we all need to do sometimes is unbalance our life.
A Balanced Lifestyle
An Unbalanced Lifestyle
One thing YOU need to understand is that YOU are the most important person in your life. No one else. Not even your children, your husband/de facto or family/extended family, it’s you all the way. Imagine in your mind a picture of a balance scale, this is what your life should look like with yourself weighing more than anything else in your life. You need to be the best version of you, nothing else matters. The less attention you pay to yourself, the less you have to offer others in your life. And no – that’s not being selfish so don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first to work on being the best version of you. When your happy the whole world shines, remember that!
Let Me Tell You A Short Story
For years it felt like I aimed for a balanced lifestyle giving everyone and everything an equal part of myself as best I could for filling or draining. I was scared thinking that if I took the opportunity to move away (do what I wanted to do not what others wanted of me to do) that I would fail at it and race home a week later, taking that step was huge, my intuition told me to go even if it meant letting others down or in future letting myself down with nothing but good intentions to carry me, I took the jump for myself on my own terms.
I felt scared of letting down the many people who relied on me… including family and friends or even letting myself down if I failed.
I was scared but excited that doing what I wanted to do would mean I was deserting everyone, I was being selfish. These people loved me and were so used to me being around, I thought.
So can you guess what I did?
I left and lived an ‘unbalance lifestyle’ It was the best decision ever! I meet new people and felt all the motions lonely, excited, my own person, owned my choices, lived in another country, broke old patterns and found a new way!
I did this for over a year, until one day I felt myself running on empty with nothing left and then I returned home with a different prospective and a new plan. It wasn’t until then that I realized that I needed to look after myself, pay attention to myself, make ME feel special and worthy, I began to feel more energized and picked up the pieces again and off I went…
If you want to get the most out of your life unbalancing your life can be so refreshing and break you out of the same mundane daily routines and even people who without your knowing be your undoing.
Life Drains Life Out Of You
Its totally normal and Ive found to be true on many occasions that life can be draining. It truly and figuratively sucks everything out of you till your on the floor simply dragging your feet around mindlessly.
What I’ve discovered is you are responsible for your own happiness, no one else is, stop making everyone else your priority, and start thinking of number one you. You should start by focusing on yourself, where your going, what your doing and how to make it all work for you you be it family, friends, health or well being. The world doesn’t end everything falls the way it should.
Your Kids – Are the kids crazy and stressing you out, you can’t control how they feel..
Your Parents – Is your mother or father treating you unequally to your siblings you, can’t control what they do say and how they act it’s a reflection of the conflict inside themselves.
Your Siblings – Does your sibling treat you like you don’t exist or like you are lesser than them… Is there unhealthy competition or just jealously causing conflict, opinion’s…. It’s there problem and their insecurities that stop them from loving you for all you are, just live your life do you!
Your Friends – Do your friends need help with watching their kids or want to dump problems on you? It’s okay to say no, especially when you yourself have your hands full with your own children and with your own life’s struggles.
Your Career – Do you feel bad for trying to put your career ahead or not being so immediately available for others around you, It’s likely that YOU are putting undue pressure on yourself.
Often, we do things for people because we are afraid to say no — afraid to hurt their feelings, afraid of how they would cope if we didn’t give them a hand. We end up giving too much of our energy to others, leaving none for ourselves. What then?
I have news for you. If you end up draining yourself – you will eventually end up trying to run on empty. And you can’t run on empty, you know? But that, my friend, will be the consequence of the choices you are making.
I’m telling you this because I know it all too intimately. I said yes to please everyone. Saying no made me feel guilty. But I have learned when we make a choice… we accept the consequences that come with it and there is no one else to blame for it.
So ask yourself next time – are you doing something out of love or out of fear.
Your Kids – Are you trying to keep your children occupied and entertained because you love them, or because you fear they will blame when they are older for not doing enough? When your child is hating on you, are you affected because you love him or her? or are you scared of feeling like a failed mum?
Your Parents – When spending time with your parents are you not act acknowledging your true feelings on matters of the heart, because you love them and genuinely want to have them in your life, because you fear what will happen if you are honest and tell them how you really feel about them and the things that are never discussed.
Your Siblings – Are you giving your sibling room to make you look silly or act above you? Or is it you just don’t want to stir the pot and disappoint your parents?
Your Friends – Do you really want to help your friend with watching her children because you love her or is it because you fear that she won’t think she means enough to you if you say no?
Your Career – Are you bringing home that extra workload because you love it and are truly passionate about it or is it because you fear losing your job or that they will think you can’t handle the pressure.
Before you do anything before you make a choice understand what drives you and what your reason is in making that choice. If it’s out of LOVE – then by all means, go ahead and do it. But if it is out of fear then, leave your fears at the door and say no.
Our Thoughts Rule Us
We are governed by our thoughts the what ifs, should-haves, would haves. But you know what they are just thoughts, What if? well you won’t know until you do it. Should have? Well you didn’t so don’t stress over it. Would have? Did you? No? Then, move on. When a thought comes into your mind, ask yourself: Does this thought serve me well? is it adding stress to my life? If it serves you well, then please, go ahead strategize and put it into action. But if it’s adding stress? let it go! Unbalance Your Life, Choose YOU. You should weigh more than anything else on your life’s list of priorities. Nothing else should weigh the same.
- It’s You FIRST and then everything else follows. YOU are your number one PRIORITY.
- Life can suck, but don’t let it suck the life out of you.
- By making our choices, we accept the consequences that come with it. So choose wisely.
- Do out of LOVE and not out of FEAR. Say no, if you have to or want to.
- Let go of the thoughts that don’t serve you. They are just thoughts.
So there you have it. Learn to love yourself and unbalance your life the outcome could be just what you needed.