The struggle ‘is real’ it’s something we all live with everyday on social media with work, family, and friend’s. Inside our mind and inside the private lives we live, we all struggle with something everyday insignificant or larger than life.
Sometimes if you look hard enough you can see the strain on another’s face as you walk past them on the street and possibly in the disposition in their body language. If we all looked harder at others we would recognise someone who is struggling, maybe enough to help that person or even just give someone struggling a friendly smile. We are good at covering up what makes us weak or vunerable, some of us are masterminds at covering our truth.
It can be easy to shut down and cut yourself off when dealing with what life throws at you, wandering around feeling alone or just feeling like ‘I have to be strong and deal with my struggle on my own’ or ‘it’s my problem I don’t want to bring anyone else down’. I’ve heard people say this and it breaks my heart to think they feel alone in their everyday struggle just to keep there head above water.
When I’ve experienced something that’s impacted my life and I’ve struggled mentally, I felt like I could only reach out to a handful of people, but not always. Not always was I brave enough to say how I was feeling without the thought I would be misunderstood, judged or perhaps people would find my struggle difficult to understand or possibly come across insensitive to my feelings or just simply they couldn’t affiliate with what I was saying.
Sometimes you can become resentful as well, but this is really like turning your struggle on yourself and making it more difficult to open up.
But the mare fact we need others and the interactions that come from connecting to other’s, just show’s we need those connection’s to help us realise we are not alone in our struggle. This is the very reason we should reach out. It’s not to late and there is someone we can relate to out there.
My past struggles
I had a good childhood full of some beautiful and amazing memory’s and living happily and terrifying moments and being insecure, my parents did the best job they could, they also had their struggles and strains of getting through, and it was because of them I am alive today giving me the skills to start out in this life. The glue of my family is my mother, she had so much on her plate, raising three very strong spirited girls and working so hard dealing with all our struggles and her own. My teen years meet me quickly with teenage angst, depression, loneliness, anxiety and isolation dealing with things I shouldn’t have, being let down by others and really struggling to get by with such a hazy outlook, hurting on the inside hiding on the outside. Dabbling in drugs, alcohol and staying out way to late with people who I realised didn’t really care about who I was or what I was going through, but there where those who could see through me, they knew who I was and understood me like I was translucent and easy to read, which always came at a time when I most needed someone to relate to a friend/family member even a complete stranger. It wasn’t easy to go into detail and express my hardships or even what my struggle was all about back then, but there where kind hearted and caring people to relate to enough to make me feel normal and happy on days where all I wanted to do was give up.
During those times of struggle the blessing was I made connections, talked to whomever would listen, wrote poetry and strongly paved my way through my struggles to come out on top again. Those struggles made me stronger, wiser and more independent. I had to make decisions become rational and learn to stand on my own two feet.
I’m now happy to say be it loss, gain, hurt, love, memory’s (I’d rather forget), plans, relationships, children, family they all made my world what it is today, these things made me who I am today. But there will always be someone going through something we can relate to, ‘it’s life’ it’s the struggle within that can also bring us closer.
I can say that I wouldn’t take my struggle back I wear my heart on my sleeve and my head up high, dream with my head in the clouds, write down my feelings, are superstitious, sensitive, spiritual and have a ‘belief system’ my own coping mechanism to survive (as a wise friend of mine once said of how she survives her struggles).
I choose to be open and listen to others struggles and relate because being cold hearted and having a selfish mindset has never been my style. I live and breathe communication and I want to share some advice on why it is so important to open up to your family and friends to cope with your struggle and be at peace with yourself.
When we’re struggling with our mental health, talking about it with the people around us might be the last thing we feel like doing. We might think they won’t care, or that we will be leaving ourselves exposed. However, opening up to someone can often make us feel much better. Here are some reasons to reach out to someone close to you when you are struggling to cope.
They would probably want to know
If you’ve felt ignored or misunderstood by your friends, it’s probably because they haven’t been able to identify with what you’re going through, or how much you need them. However, it’s very likely that they would want to know what you’re going through and how they can help you. Think about someone in your life, even someone you’re not that close to. If they were struggling and needed support, wouldn’t you want to know so that you could help them?
They might be there for you
Depression, anxiety, stress and other mental health issues can make us feel isolated. It can feel like we’re invisible and that people don’t care about us. However, if you reach out to a friend, family member or co-worker, often you’ll find that the opposite is true. You may find out that others have experienced similar challenges, or that people make an effort to support you once they know what you’re going through.
You might conquer fears of stigma
It’s natural to worry that we will be judged, and this is especially true when you’re already going through a lot. However, your friends, family and others closest to you are more likely to be your biggest supporters, rather than judge you. By letting people know what you’re going through, you might find that they are very understanding, and talking about it will make it no longer a secret you feel you have to hide.
Strengthen your relationships
To have intimacy essentially means to have emotional closeness. By opening up to someone, you might find that you strengthen your relationship with them. In addition to adding to the intimacy of your relationship, sharing what you’re going through might help them to understand you better. For example, if you have a tendency to go ‘off the grid’ when you’re struggling, they might be more understanding the next time it happens.
It will help them to help you
If you share with the people closest to you what you’re going through, then they will be more likely to pick up on it and offer support, next time things are really tough. Asking for help is exhausting, but when someone makes an effort to offer it to us when we’re struggling, it can mean the world. If people know what you’re going through, and are better able to identify when you’re going through a hard time, then they’ll be better equipped to support you.
Raising awareness of mental health conditions
By opening up to the people around you, you will help to educate people about what depression, anxiety, stress and other mental health challenges look like, especially if you are high functioning. You never know, the knock-on effect could help someone else later down the track.
Thank you for reading my post, learning to communicate when someone in your life is struggling can make such a big difference. Cassie x