The not so secret, secrets of a stay at home mummy, a house wife and a living goddess
Grab your coffee that’s gone cold and let’s delve into the exploration of being a stay at home mum it’s mine fields of fun.
Get off your phone, turn off the TV, and enjoy your life. Enjoy your kids. THESE ARE THE GOOD TIMES make sure to love every minute of life because before you know it all of this will be in the past.
Being a Mother to Two Refreshingly Loving Boys
Sitting down watching my two children play feeling pretty proud of myself with an accomplished feeling (most of the time) I’m proud of the relationship with my children. I’m proud to call myself a “stay at home mum”.
It’s been four years and I have committed to nurturing, developing and putting all my time and energy into protecting, loving and caring for my children mostly above myself and my own needs. It can be an unforgiving, thankless, easily overlooked (what I do in a day) but I don’t regret a thing, it’s a small part of your life yet intense time full of ups and downs, its a huge maze of parental decisions, no sleep, responsibility, growth and lack of space for yourself, financial lows and highs. The kind of work which really does kick the reality of how you think everything would be, but you change over time and learn to adapt to the changes happening all around you.
How did I get there – Destination stay at home mum.
After many years of working full-time jobs in different types of work I had finally found my chosen career in Early Childhood Education. I also studied my Certificate Three in Early Childcare Education and my Diploma moving up in my career with bigger plans ahead of me. I currently study Weight-loss Management and write my own blog cassielovelifefoodie.com and cover all things to do with life and share my favorite food recipes and delve into parenting and all things motherhood.
There is nothing you can’t do these days truly the world’s your oyster, kids and all!!!
While working and studying childcare I felt so drawn to the idea of having my own children, I love children and all the happiness they bring into my world, I had a maternal ticking time bomb going off inside and I wanted to meet someone, settle down and have some beautiful baby’s. That’s something most of us woman dream of or think about really.
And that’s what happened luckily enough, it was a miracle after my luck with guys. I now have a wonderful loyal, trustworthy, supportive amazing partner and two gorgeous boys life isn’t easy by any means but there’s a lot of love, laughter and good times it out weighs the tiredness, but truly our children never miss out we make sure of it, they have everything they need physically, mentally and the fun materialistic toys and cool stuff.
Being a parent, working or stay at home, no matter what we all play such a pivotal role in our children’s lives and that’s so special and no one can ever take that away from you not work, not money, not other people. Your doing the most amazing job in the world raising your humans!
We are never late for anything, my kids always have reasonably healthy food in their belly’s, as fussy as they are! Peanut allergy included. They have clean clothes and the house is always tidy, well most of the time. Now I am not trying to toot my own horn because I am like anyone I get stressed, leave messes, have bad days, good days and also I have low days.
“Nothing’s Ever Perfect”
I like it that way I don’t want to portray myself as something I’m not, I love being home watching my children develop during these early years. I just wanted to share the amazing ways that help me not only survive as a stay at home mum, but how I thrive at my current role. (Check these pointers out further down)
Being a stay at home mum is one of the toughest roles you can ever have. Your are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are no breaks, no holiday leave and no sick days. And let’s not forget that you do it all for free without much of a thanks from your kids.
Thank the man in your life if he is a boss at parenting your baby’s!
I do have a loving partner who helps after work and is amazing with our two boys anytime he’s home, he also works extremely hard and is always praising me for what I do and vice versa so I am very grateful for that.
When your a stay at home mum, a quick trip to the shops without the kids is like a mini vacation, that’s me most Wednesday evenings after dark, taking my time to grab a few grocery’s strolling the isles all by my sweet self it’s freedom now! It is so easy to see why so many mummy’s out there feel like they are getting stuck in some emotional/mental issues as the walls close in to close sometimes. Or they can completely burn out. Being a mum is hard and there is no manual to follow in this role as a mother.
Daycare and School Run Mum’s
When you look around your child’s daycare/school you see every type of mum. There is always that one mum who just seems to have everything put together. They just seem to know what the heck they are doing. But don’t be fooled. These mum’s are just like you, we all have the same kind of mornings and pull off miracles to make it to our destination/drop-off.
Different types of mum’s you’ll find at school
This is purely for some humor to the beautiful amazing mum’s around the school/daycare scene, we maybe one or all of these mum’s, but we are all magnificent woman, so have a read and giggle at the stereo types out there.
The model mum
This delightful creature looks like she’s stepped off the pages of a Kmart catalogue. Dressed in a pastel pink twin set with pearls and a matching shoes/handbag combo, you’d think she was off to a fancy brunch straight after drop-off. In beachier environments, she is sometimes known as the ‘boho mum’, who prefers to wear top-to-toe Camilla or Tiger lily, looking like she’s just come back from Byron Bay.
The late mum
Best described as ‘a blur’ this mum rolls up to the school gate, illegally pulls into a no standing zone and nudges the kids out the door as she continuously rolls on to an appointment that she knew she’d be late for when she booked it.
Sometimes thought of as ‘the relaxed mum’ when she has also forgets to send lunch or lunch money, doesn’t know when homework is due, and just generally doesn’t give AF. Really, we should all strive to be this mum every now and then!
Active wear mum
We’ve all heard about this mum, and maybe even been here from time to time (guilty!). She wears serious workout clothes all day regardless of whether she’s exercised, but hey, if you can rock a pair of tight leggings and a crop top, you’ve earned it, honey!
The busy mum
She’s on all the committees and doesn’t understand why you’re not too. She’s like Miss Rabbit in Peppa Pig … she’s everywhere. You see her at the canteen, in your kid’s class helping out with the guided reading, at the Bunnings sausage sizzle, timing kids at the swimming carnival and right up front in assembly. This mum is so organized she has lists to keep track of her lists and is usually armed with a clipboard.
The canteen mum
A variant of the ‘busy mum’, this wondrous being once wore leggings and baggy T-shirts but these days it’s all about the active wear. Donning Lorna Jane tights and coordinating stringy workout tee, she busies herself rounding up volunteers in the playground before school and calling the kids ‘sweetie’ and ‘darling’ as she hands over their change.
The canteen mum is also the mum all the other kids want to claim as their own because … well, what kid doesn’t want free food?
Wearing natural fibers, she lovingly hands over her child’s stainless steel bento box containing homemade quinoa sushi and sugar-free granola bars inside, as she breastfeeds her three year old in a sling. She is forever smiling and giving off an air of calm. Commonly found migrating away from the next mother on our list.
This one is a pain. She knows all about everything that’s happened throughout the day because she ‘helps at the school. She’ll tell you if your kid has been hurt, naughty or nice all day. She has no concept of ‘what happens at school stays at school’ and has little trust in the passing on important information such as “your child got a detention today for swinging on his chair – you should really do something about that”.
The slummy mummy
Look, we all have bad mornings, and if you think you’ve not had one, you’re either kidding yourself or lying. The slummy mummy rolls up to school with her slippers on, crusty Weet-Bix smeared down the front of her T-shirt and yesterday’s mascara emphasizing the bags under he eyes. She’s chewing on some gum she found in her car from last year because she forgot to brush her teeth.
The mollycoddling mama
This well-meaning mother’s kid scrapes a knee and she sweeps them up into her arms with a very loud “OH MY DAAAARLING!” She sends another child to the school office for an ice pack and ponders an emergency trip to the medical center. Infection: it’s a distinct possibility.
The have-a-chat mum
This social butterfly is mostly seen every day in the mornings and afternoons hanging about, take-away coffee in hand, chatting up a storm to everyone there, inevitably holding up the exit gate. She has a young baby and is never late to pick-up, as that would cut into the 20 minutes of human interaction that she desperately needs after being limited to baby talk since drop-off.
The young mum
Often one of the most energetic and hands on mum’s around, the young mum is unapologetically perky and her kid wears cooler clothes than you or your husband.
Being an absolute ‘GODDESS’ at stay at home ‘MUM’ parenting tips:
Start Your Day the right way
What I mean by this is getting yourself ready for the day first sometimes reality of this is it’s easier to do your kids first than you, but getting a start on your day first can be an advantage. Having a morning kid-free shower, being able to do your makeup and take the time to find something nice wear. These mornings are heaven and you will feel a lot calmer and prepared. That wardrobe full of comfortable active wear might be calling your name. But we need to give it a miss every once in a while. If you feel good about yourself it can and will change your whole look on the day. We are the mum and when we feel good about ourselves, we are much more happier inside and out for ourselves and our children. It is perfectly normal to take the time to get ourselves ready first.
Make The Time To Exercise
“Exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy”.
You can be at any level of fitness and weight to exercise for yourself. All it takes it putting on some tunes and digging deep for that positive attitude/motivation and then just one foot in front of the other on some dreamy scenic route or your local suburban street, get your kids involved walking or take the pram, attach a bike trailer to the bike, even take the kids bikes. The kids will love it and you will love and appreciate yourself more for being active. It doesn’t take much to exercise, just get up and get moving. Whether you decide to get your kids involved with some exercise around the house or make time to get to a gym with a kids play area. Make some time to get moving and get those happy little endorphins flowing.
Seek Out New Friendships and Nurture The Good Ones
Having a good group of friends can really improve your metal health. For some of us, including me making friends and maintaining friendships can be a hard at times. Just remember that you don’t need to stay to a small clique of friends. Yes you may be a mum, but it is also great to have friends who are not mum’s yet. Having non-mum friends allows you to have some kid-free friends, coffee dates to talk about things other than your kids. You might have couple friends for adult date nights, mum friends for play-dates and non-mum friends for some kid free time. Friends can come and go over the years but always look for new friendships while still maintaining the strong old ones.
Dont Be Afraid To Ask For Help
The whole mum gig is hard. We are constantly told what we shouldn’t do but there isn’t a manual to what we should do. So lets just face facts that as mum’s we have a whole ton of things that we have to do. Our kids depend on us from the moment they open their eyes. We are managers, maids, nurses, cleaners, referees, counselors and role models. Being a Mum is overwhelming and when we hit the mum slump, we need to not be afraid to ask for some help. Asking for help doesn’t make us weak or failures in the slightest. It makes us the same as every other mum out there. We all need help from time to time and it’s okay to ask for it. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
Smash out routines and keep them regular!
If you are a mum that wings it you may be a little more pressed for time and stressed than the mum’s who have a routine. In my own home I have routines for each day, not only for myself but for my kid-lets. Having a good routine makes the day run more smoothly and the kids don’t seem to nag you as much. If you see those mum’s who just seem to have their life together, then they have some sort of routine in place. Their kids wake up around the same time, they have set meal and snack times and even have some play structure to their days. Even the mum’s themselves have some sort of cleaning routine for the week and have a weekly plan worked out before the week has even started. Being predictable helps the kids in your home with their behavior and self-development while we as mum’s can get the most out of everyday.
Have Set Bedtimes
Having consistent bedtimes for kids is very important. This goes hand in hand with having a routine. When it comes to bedtime you should always have a unwhind time and whether it’s there favorite TV show or reading books what ever you do to calm your children down to be restful for bed, it all helps. This will prepare their minds and bodies for bedtime and hopefully sleep. Once the kids are finally asleep this becomes a sanity saver time after a long day of being a stay at home mum.
Making time for yourself
While there are still a lot of mum’s out there who believe that we choose to be mum’s. Which means our job is to raise our kids and always put there needs above our own. I however, believe having me time at least once a week is important. We can not be our best mum-selves for our kids if we don’t allow ourselves some breathing space. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant like a spa day. It could be as simple as taking a bath or quite time to work on projects or read that book sitting around collecting dust. After you clear all the toys away that is. We might be stay at home mum’s but we still need to be able to recharge our own batteries every once in a while.
Be Happily Imperfect
Being a stay at home mum is one of the hardest gigs we can ever do. We can feel like complete failures so easily. Those around us can make us feel like we are achieving nothing in life if we choose this parenting pathway. But for any parent out there not just those stay at home mum’s, you need to feel happy within yourself as well. Being a parent is a hard job and there is no right or wrong way to do things. But there sure is a lot of people out there who are all to easy to judge us for what we do. Once you accept there is no such thing as perfect. You can finally start being a lot more happy in your ‘mum’ life being yourself and enjoying you kids, you can be happily imperfect and still get the most out of everyday. You don’t need to do it all.
Work On your relationship
If you have an awesome significant other, don’t neglect your relationship. Your world doesn’t just revolve around your beautiful children. You have a partner who needs some of your attention to. Plan some date nights if you can. Find time to talk, be intimate and have a laugh. Sit down at night, hold hands and watch some Netflix’s together. You both need to support each other and the best way to do that is to appreciate each other and spend some time together.
Take Care of Yourself
It has been said multiple times. You are important as a mother, as a partner, as a worker and as yourself. When we have kids life changes but you should not lose yourself by being something to everyone else. I know people who would disagree with me. Saying that your kids are important and you chose to have them. Well they are right we did chose to have kids. But that doesn’t mean we should loss our identity as an individual to become “so-and-so mother”. We need to be ourselves and the best we can be. It’s okay to put yourself first. Self care can be as simple as going to the hairdresser’s to get our hair and nails done. Its healthy and its okay to take care of ourselves. It’s okay to take some me time. Especially if we want to avoid mum burnout and be the best mum’s we can be for our kids.
We all know what works for us as mothers our children’s needs are all so different and on a final note I want all mum’s to know that you are awesome. You don’t hear this enough. Your kids love you for just being there mum, and the world is a better place because you are in it making a difference in your children’s lives but also those around you,your inspiring your a masterpiece. Cassie x