A lightbulb moment for me this year was realising that I can only move forward with my life and goals when I drop other people’s expectations of me that I have taken to be my own.
We all want to be helpful and supportive of others, but too much of anything is not good for us. Like many people out there in the world, I’m constantly battling the tendency to people please. We fear causing offence or inconvenience to others. I thought I had struck a fairly good balance between being available to others, whilst not running myself ragged. But I sense every now and then I need to revise and reshuffle how much time I spend on others and focus on myself rather than people pleasing it’s a balancing act.
I am a SAHM so with that comes certain freedoms, but also many, many serious responsibilities. I will always do my best to accommodate the people in my life, but as a mum I tend to also spread myself too thinly with my own little humans.
Reclaiming my time
The list of ‘Not to do’
As part of my time management, I do like to remember it’s okay to have a list of ‘not to do’ as a balance to the usually overloaded ‘to do’ list, the ‘not to do’ list brings into awareness those usually unconscious habits that are not serving me. There are just times we all need to list some commitments that we intend to drop from our busy schedules, it can feel empowering.
It can bring great pleasure crossing items off and deleting commitments from our dairy or list of things to do.
At times we need to be clear as to what we are saying ‘no’ to and why, and therefore creating the space to say ‘yes’ to new opportunities. Of course, what always happens when you say goodbye to an energy drain, you are readying yourself for new possibilities.
When you say goodbye to an energy drain, you are creating the space and readying yourself for new possibilities and opportunities.
It can be all to easy to spend too long on social media, mindlessly following the escapades of influencers, friends and family. When I thought about it, it can feel consuming of what lyes Infront of me, what we all have going on around us in the moment, not saying it’s an easy escape but we can all do without social media as well.
Why am I watching others pursue their dreams, show off shiny new toys and amazing lifestyles.. fun, fun, fun when I’ve my own to pursue?
If you feel the same release yourself from those pages or friends that don’t serve you.
We all have the feeling like we maybe missing out if we make a pass on people or pages on social media. One day I sat phone in hand, scrolled and unfollowed. I can only describe it as the joy of missing out not the feeling of missing out and again it felt so liberating. We can only think so many thoughts a day and I wanted to free up some of my thinking capacity by removing mindless distractions.
Radiators and Drains
I firmly believe that everyone is doing their best with the knowledge, self-awareness and resources at their disposal. Having said that, we all know people who can feel like emotional vampires sucking the energy and positivity from us. Over the years these drains have been gently removed from my life, so I have more time to spend with the ‘radiators,’ people, when I’m in their company, I feel better about myself and the world in general. In the spirit of reclaiming my time, there was just a few adjustments for me to make when it came to personal relationships.
What I’ve found is that when I cease reaching out to people who are drains on my energy, the connection tends to fizzle out naturally.
We’ve all heard the phrase working smarter, I believe that working smarter is about identifying what you are no longer going to do as well.
To put it simply, I value my time and energy.
If you can relate please feel free to comment what you would pass up in a heart beat to free yourself from unnecessary constraints.