For some reason, I found myself in a weird headspace over the last few days. I was lacking love and gratitude for myself. The world wasn’t quite as vibrant as it usually appears. Little things were going wrong here and there. I just wasn’t happy inside myself.
I’ve been drained, so flat you couldn’t compare me to a flat tyre, my upbeat, happy, soulful self is drained, my well is empty my thoughts are lost my charkras are faded.
I’ve recently moved house and for a very routine organised individual this is my worst nightmare. Packing up your life, your memory’s and your material things and watching your deliciously set up home become distinctively bare naked is hard, the effort that goes into such a debarkle is consuming, sucking the joy out of even the most patient easy going person, throw some kids in the mix and I salute anyone who makes it out the other side smiling “but you do” it’s hard to not let it consume your life!!
To make matters worse, my go-to activities for realigning myself during such a crazy time were failing miserably. I tryed the usual approaches like exercise, cleaning up, projects, organising my home and that eternal list of things to do, but it all felt fake. I couldn’t truly get behind any of those activities because it felt like my core had been depleted.
So this morning I woke up and went on about my usual business. The question on my mind was “What the hell is wrong?” Half-way through my morning, an old concept that I had somewhat brushed off as of late popped into my head “our natural state is love”
Then it all clicked, I was trying SO hard to get back to a state of loving, acceptance and gratitude that I ended up pushing it away. I was attempting to cover my somewhat negative/aggitated state in positive thoughts when all I had to do was completely let go so my innate positivity could shine through.
In other words, even resistance should not be resisted. I was fighting against myself when I should have simply accepted it, and allowed it to pass like clouds on a windy day. Instead I fought against it tooth and nail and prolonged its stay.
So for future reference:
Don’t try so hard, you’re already there. You just have to let go enough for your true nature to bubble up and show itself again.
What simple truths have you come across lately?